by the wheels

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Kai Ingo Selck
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Kai Ingo Selck Music is still the answer Mr Anderson!!! Thank You Sir! Favorite track: vi. *fly*.
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my art belongs to my friends and to its slew of unwitting benefactors. it is free

dedicated to hayden karnitz, ben pounds, and kai ingo selck

cover art by steph strupp

not mastered by justin perkins or carl saff

please use with headphones and silly stuff


released February 29, 2016



all rights reserved


the wheels Milwaukee, Wisconsin

"from the twisted mind of john anderson" -w. m. dintenfass

"I love it. It's the right combination of electronic insanity with occasional folksy acounstics. "Jumbled" would probably be my best description for much of it." -ben pounds

"like a soft eminem" -lisa whiteface

"i haven't gotten around to listening to it yet"- erin anderson
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Track Name: i. silly stuff
i have to go now
Track Name: iii. run run run reprise (i'm goin' after justin timberlake next...)
i represent the medieval boner
i'm kind of a loner definitely a stoner
lone wolf cryin' at the back of the pack
we got adam levine sucking on a n** s***
yeah i heard there's a odor
when he gets a boner definitely a moaner
i heard he moans like a girl
little benny come and give 'im a whirl

i don't mean to smoke so much weed
i just wanna play live at leeds
i never meant to smoke so much crack
kill 'em all then wanna fade to black like the zodiac

killer my rhymes are all filler
pizza rats check out the oil spiller
2015 drop the ball skip skip skadoo 2016
my mouth is still big and my ears are still green

i gotta deal with all of the bullshit
i smelt it i tasted it i'm glad i didn't step in it
i guarantee that this jive cat is hepin' it
i'm representin' it trav is readin' steppenwolf
that didn't rhyme though and now i'm regretting it

suddenly i burst on to the scene
to take another piece of adam levine
hold up a minute if you please press stop on the tape deck
my last rhyme was politically incorrect

on the microphone i come with correction
all you have to do is follow direction
when adam levine gets an erection
he gets an erection 'cause of his own reflection

the size of my penis is teenie
i wanna live in a motherf***ing teepee
i wanna hang with hartman and pee-wee
maybe in heaven you can see the real me

motherf***er wanna know about me?
i'm the radical catholic with the lowercase c
i try to avoid homophobia and sexism
but most of all motherf***in' pessimism
motherf***er i can rap like that
just as long as the motherf***in' beat is fat

hop hip bedknobs and broomsticks
hip hop bedsticks and broomknobs
we gottem on the run bob
vapor genie with my neighbor rob

my rhymes aren't linear they're more of a parabola
i got fifty ways of sayin' fabulous
i never meant to smoke so much dope
i just ran outta hope
i never meant to smoke so much rock
but somebody gotta rock the rock
Track Name: v. fan fiction
my back is killing me
my back is killing me ow
they call me luke the drifter
i am a man of god
i gobble asprin up
and then i chase 'em with beer
i give the girls a pinch
and then i disappear

what's my excuse?

i'm just a saxophonist
in a travelin' band
they call me chicken boy
because i kill with my hands
i go to the can before i play and i get lit
it hurts for me to stand and it hurts for me to sit
oh lord i wish they'd put me in the ground

my back is killing me
my back is killing me ow
Track Name: vi. *fly*
this machine kills fascists while i make smash hits
and mash up while the biters play catchup
i wanna standup but i need a one liner
scherzo no. 2 in b flat minor
op 31 you a son of a gun
i got so many lyrics they weigh like a ton
i do it for fun, hun, the run run run, hun
better not try to shun this one hun, son
new years eve, i was sweet as i could be
but these dudes from the green room wouldn't pass a spliff to me
was it 'cause i was white or 'cause i was lurking?
man fuck that noise get back to working
others talk, me i paint
my next rhyme isn't for the faint
'cause i can be dark, i can be frustrated
i think all rapists should be castrated
but where there's hatred let me sow love
i'm buck naked and there's death from above
and everybody knows i don't need an understudy

run honky run, fly honky fly

personal day
blonde goes bessie
surgeon's in heat 'cause my dog's in ecstasy
i can do beck i can do doris day
all of your moms and dads are gay
you're only granted so many wishes
i'd rather meet steve and marty than go from rags to riches
i make beats bust rhymes i break dishes
did you notice that i never use the b word?

standin' on the corner just a ringin' my bell
up steps the posse from the tosa vill
the boys are back in town we're blastin' welcome to hell
give this honky an inch and he take an ell

standin' on the corner just a ringin' my bell
up steps the posse from asheville
says "young man is your name brown?
remember the night you little blowed little sadie down?"

to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood, now is the time
Track Name: vii. seven beers with the wrong woman
seven beers with the wrong woman
we sat at a table for two
when all of a sudden she whispered
oh boy i could sure go for you
my heart beat a little bit faster
as i held her sweet little hand
i swelled up in pride but oh how she lied
when i was a a foolish young man

seven beers with the wrong woman
she asked me to get up and dance
around and around we circled
til i missed the money from my pants
i asked her if she had seen it
she smiled up at me and said "no"
from this day to me 'tis a great mystery
for i wonder just where it did go

seven beers with the wrong woman
it leaves me only regret
i guess she was only a foolin'
when she called me her sweet loving pet
now i wish the lord had made adam
and never made anyone else
for there's one thing i know, the next place i go
i'll buy fourteen beers for myself
Track Name: viii. tribal dopes
my rhymes aren't topical, they're more philosophical
i mash up the hits that shit is logical
i'm gonna cause train wrecks
c minor complex
colorado michigan i'll never touch my wife again

well i come in on a ferris wheel and boys i sure was slick
lay a few tricks on em, verbalize like a ton of bricks
i'm high up in the atmosphere and i ain't comin' down
they lied when they said that up in outer space you can't hear sound
got a hot rod ford and a two dollar bill and i know a spot just over the hill
there's soda pop and the dancin's free so if you wanna have fun come along with me

smokin' lucky strikes like a mad man
your beats and your lyrics make me sad man
bacon burger dogs yo i had 'em
i couldn't pick your girl out from adam

your shit is edison my shit is tesla
watch your step 'cause i'm the wrestler
i never ride a vespa and my daddy looks like uncle fester
driving to the store in my toyota corolla
i don't owe sho enuf shuf mcgruf one iota

well i'm turned on and i'm plugged in
i an't never read the bible so it ain't no sin
we gonna rock the r-o-c-k and roll
i'm straight as f*** but my boyfriend's gay as hell

lennie tristano on the piano order me some chiles rellenos
hannah montana in a savannah wearing a bandana it's americana
tribal dopes be coping with mopes soap on a rope i am a pope
dashing hopes i'm eating cantaloupes seal envelopes crash telescopes
now brothers are riding me like a pony
i'm no phony i'm the only real micaroni
i don't play i work hard for my money
5-6-7-8 the week shit ain't funny

c'est bon
hey ho
Track Name: ix. wild animal luxury melodrama pt. IV radio edit
chris frahm drop more bass than chris brown drop a**
and chris brown drop head like billy big mouth bass
quinn the eskimo out for a pass
tiny montgomery smoking gas
i strike like a viper then i change a diaper
i don't give a s*** about american sniper
comin' at you now like a windshield wiper
she never called me back 'cause my dog was hyper
it's a lame excuse but what's the use
when i run from the cops my sweat is profuse
so i duck and i dodge and i hide behind a tree
and i pilfer my rhymes from eazy e

my lyric is so sick it's like it's got the flu
it's like mildew, french perfume
your rhymes are late, they got a curfew
i share a room with my grandpa but he comes home later than i do
don't wake daddy, don't break the ice
we can drive it home with one head lice
and my mama be tellin' me that i be gettin' a little ripe
because i don't wash my hair i brush my teeth with a pipe

your lyrics my friend are uncontroversial
you rip all your rhymes from a bud lite lime commercial
please turn down the decibels your lyrics aren't seminal
(i knew a black guy once his mother called him reginauld)
have you ever even been to a sukey jump
with captain midnight and forest gump?
driving to the store in my toyota corolla
one day i'll have a label and make deals with the ayatollah

gotta leave in an hour
time to hop in the shower
try to run from the brethren
got a date with the reverend

george spencer shorter jr. on the microphone
and his cousin wayne they don't phone it in from home
we got the juju we got the deluge
we got the lipstick and we got the rouge
Track Name: x. black moriah
it ain't no joke said she
livig' like you think you in misery
to get from point a to b
must be some kind of mystery

and she said boy you live in a dream

me and shuf we hit the bluffs
but sure enough they was too steep for us
so me and shuf hit up the cornerstore
that's where we gaslit the governor

and then he said boys you live in a dream

the ace of spades caved in on himself
candy bread said it was somethin' else
now big time he's suckin' on a keg
he's telling me he's just a regular greg

but i know boy you live in a dream
Track Name: xii. scaredy ranger meets the wheels and vanquishes nasty robots
Track Name: xiii. i have the wine
i wanna get too pumped up to drive
i wanna get too pumped up to cry
i wanna get too pumped up to die
Track Name: xvi. candy's boy cr
well in the olden days when the mongolian gangs rode hard up on route 9
we'd go ridin in the rain baby headed south way down through the pines...
Track Name: xvii. (not) cosmic dan (cosmic dan, where are you?)
catch it, ya gotta catch it

motherf***ers know it's wild

yo, chillin' in the cut on the way to the 'ville
i the got the skill
you know it's ill
it's the real deal
and i'm gonna bust it out all the time
with my rhymes
yo, it's like that slime
ghostbusters style
motherf***ers know
i see that smile
we keep it goin' all night if we can
i'm the man dan
and i'm 'bout to hit these cans
make a beat
whatever i can find
it's pretty neat
i'm not from the street
yo, i'm more walkin' in the tall grass or the weeds
yo, i smoke
that s*** is grown from the seeds in california
motherf***ers know i been reborn-ya